i never liked doors. and the redundancy of having to open or close them. it is but just a delicate motion of taking a step forward. so whats with that big thing not only standing in your way but expecting shamelessly to be turned and poked at in the natural course of walking a more-superior-in-all-ways human being? thats not only begging a muderer to kill me. but providing the exact weapons necessary to execute the killing of me. which people ever so pathetically embrace without a flinch each time they come to a point in life where they are faced with these doors. these decisions to make.
for something so dead and mortified. these wooden portals sure live their life after death a little too obnoxiously alive. their damned existence never fails to prod me in my stubborn face. these things we hardly even noticed nor cared to dedicate a single fraction of our time to when they were living. so why should their worth be hailed and overstated now when they are so lifeless and dead?
these have-beens. too compromising and uncertain. yet we allow them to overbearingly distant two comfort zones. for the reason that it separates complicated grounds by uncomplicating already familiar grounds. so why then do we still have these difficult and perplexing minds and emotions? and how issit possible that these familiar as hell grounds can still consist of never before explored boundaries?
i dont know. dont want to know. all i need to know is that my doors have always been left unopened. and unclosed. to shut or keep no one. whether it be for walking to or away from me. i’d always be so quiet. so good. all for fears even i cant fully comprehend. but if i am made to choose. forced to open or close my doors. confronted to let in or keep out. choked to be all or nothing. albeit most unwillingly. albeit most unreadily. i will.
to shut down and away. completely.
current aural of obstinate defiance - Tears And Rain by James Blunt.
